3's of Me

Since I've been a crude, pissy biatch lately (even more than the norm, yes), I've decided to lighten "me" up a bit with something steph tagged me with and also saw on leesh's blog.
I write this on a highly sour mood, so some answers may reflect this. don't be offended. it's not you. nor me. it's him. insert evil laugh + bitch face combo here. really? i don't give a f-ck right now.
Ahem. So anyway, light, yes.

The 3's of Me:

3 Names I go by:
Mommy/Mama
Pee
"My last name". My REAL one. The one I was born with.

3 Jobs I’ve had:
Starbucks
Kumon
Mexx

3 Places I’ve lived:
Philippines
New Jersey
Moncton

3 Fave Drinks:
Water
Soy Caramel Macchiatto
Real Mango juice

3 Tv Shows I watch:
Glee
OTH
Lost

3 Places I’ve been:
Dominican Republic
Washington
Yo Mama's house

3 Places I’d like to Visit:
Greece
Mauritius
Disneyland

3 Fave old tv shows:
Full House
Beverly Hills, 90210
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

3 Fave Dishes:
Something with Lobster
Something with Fish
Something with cookies

3 Make-up products I cannot live without:
Lip Balm
Black kohl liner
Eye shadow

3 Things I’m looking forward to:
A clean, mowed, gardened and daily tended lawn and yard
My money back
A good night's rest in my own bed

3 people to tag:
Mel
Mareen
Dilene

Just a Thought...

The reason why my lawn and yard are so disgustingly grubby and endlessly full of weeds
is the same reason why Vegas is still booming with disgustingly grubby whores and endless grown men full of weed.

And that's not the only thing they're full of.

Joke of the Day

Good. Responsible. Man.


These three words were said in one supposed self-describing sentence.

I almost burned myself with my hair straightener out of sheer laughter.

An understatement.

It has been argued that men don't think like women do.

In reality, men just don't think. Period.

And even that is still heavily understated.

Trying to Win!!!!

I know, I know. You don't have to tell me... I am SO behind on my blogging.
I was trying to save it for my "summer break suave" but I'm trying to win this contest at one of my "marked favourites" blog.
You know me. Me + Parties = Euphoria. Ecstasy. Essence. Of. My. Life.
Without giving any of my ideas away because I'm greedy like that, cross your fingers for me.
I have THREE parties going on in my mind right now...

Kate Landers. Everyone said my part time job or side job should be an event planner. I love being a mom to my baby bee's and to be honest, giving them the best and most unique party excites me. Though Blake won't realize just yet, nor Belle how much effort and money is actually put in these...

MOMMY DON'T CARE because MOMMY LOVES YOU.
Great package at stake folks... IM IN IT... TO WIN IT!!!!!

Leo.

It's been a while since I got any piece of Leo action.
Saw the Golden Globes last night. Everyone pretty much looked good.
Then Leo came on. He blew everyone away. Even scruff ruff n stuff George w/his hot ass Italian queen.
Leo is slick. There really is no explanation as to why he's been sitting at my #2 spot over there. I mean, he probably beats Justin out in everything, but Justin's just been It for me for so long that it just has to be.
So anyway, I'm not going to discuss much further because there is no discussion.
He can act. He can rock any look. He is the only reason why I'd want to be a tall blond Sports Illustrated model just so he can hook up with me.
The twitch of his in The Departed. The way he says "alright" as "awwrrrrigh" just gets me going. I don't know why, it just does.
I'm glad Leo was there last night so I can see his face. I think I'm going to pull out The Departed tonight-- or Gangs just to have 2 plus hours of his brilliance.
...right after I catch up on 24 and my CW line up's back! HOO-AH!
Marion and Halle. Goddamn women. How do you look like that?!?!?!
Leo, I love you awwrrrigh.

Resolutions for 2010

Now that I got my "What I Learned" list out of the way, it's only proper to have a couple of New Year's resolutions published as well. Maybe if it's published I'll be more likely to follow through with it. Maybe not. But it's always nice to set goals. Even better when you follow through and accomplish them. Saw this title on Leesh's blog. Before I read hers, I'll write mine. Then as in our Twilightian norm, I will see how much we have in common.

For now, I'll start with five resolutions for the new year. Hello 2010. Good gracious. I swear there was a movie I watched ages ago that had us as robots or living underwater by 2010.

5. I will run 10k. Steph needs to get me there. I need to force myself to get Steph to get me there. lol Should I change it to 5k? 2.5k? Hehehe

4. I will make my house a home. Pictures will not only be printed and put into frames but these frames will be put up. My living room will be my reading room aka Curl Up with Edward/Jamie room.

3. I will be nicer to Michael. In whatever way I choose or deem nice. Niceness is on my terms. LOL I have to be realistic in order to fulfill these resolutions.

2. I will do my AQ courses one way or another. Either upgrade my English qualifications or *gulp* do my Religion Part 1 and 2. I prefer option A, but it's not free.

1. I will give myself more "me" time. Though my kids are my life, I need to have mine in order to give them a fuller one. N'est ce pas?

So there you have it. My top five resolutions I can think of on the spot. Not bad. I think I can manage. Now if I print it and paste it on my mirror it might just all work!
Can't wait to hear all of yours. PS Belle's resolution is apparently "I will not lie because before I used to lie all the time" hmmph.

Countdown to Twenty-Ten is on!!! See you in the New Year folks!!! Let this one bring me lots of happiness, good health and MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!

Top Ten of 2009

As the New Year quickly approaches, I've decided to gather up some of the most valuable things I learned- and have been reminded of- due to the events and experiences of this past year. 2009 was indeed a bittersweet year. And we only have a few days left of it! Wow.
Here are the Top 10 Things I've learned from 2009. In totally random order and done in ten minutes- unedited!

10. Your mother is the most gifted, talented and hard-working person in the world.

9. Laughter is the best exercise for your sagging stomach. It is also the best remedy for sinking hearts.

8. Never take those you love for granted. I do this everyday and yet, I never learn. You don't know how much time you have with them.

7. Time flies.

6. Babies are truly God's gift from heaven. For Him to take them away from us only makes them that more special. If Heaven's providing us with such precious, special little angels then let all of us be good forever.

5. Two kids are definitely more fun than one. It is also more work, more money, more tears. But it is even more joyful, more laughter, more rewarding and more loving.

4. Family is your number one supporter. No matter what it is, they are the ones who will keep you standing when the world's pulling you down.

3. True friends come in small, beautiful sizes. No matter the distance or drama or absence they love you and your family and know how to show it.

2. A sister is your best friend. She is mine.

1. Life is precious. Giving life is as delicate as it is thought to be easy and common. Let no one ever take this fact for granted.

As I am thankful for what 2009 has brought me-- Blake Archer-- I am just as thoughtful for those who have become our special guardian angels whom I am just as grateful for everyday--

Callie Alexandra
Tango
Tito Randy
Tita Lilia

While I wish everyone a healthy and prosperous 2010, may I be selfish and ask this new year to bring much more love and joy as it has for me this past year. Let my sisters and brothers (older brothers- not Jon please, not yet. lol) be blessed with beautiful, healthy, chubby little babies. Let Belle and Blake continue to grow strong and into their smart, loveable little selves. Let Michael get a big whip in the face to let him wake up and realize what a remarkable, hardworking wife he has (lol). Let an new member of our family, our nanny, be just that- family.
Let me not forget what I learned from this year and apply it all for the next.
2010. Wow. Blake will be 1. Belle will be 5. (WHAT?!) I will be married for 5 years. WOOHOO!!!! I get a new ring!!!!!!!! lol

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!

FINA-FCKING-LLY!!!!!

I've seen it! I waited impatiently and finally saw New Moon yesterday with Steph.
It did not disappoint.
I LOVED LOVED LOVED the movie.
And sadly, now more than ever, I am more in love with Edward.
I think the main reason why I loved this movie so much was simply because I did not expect anything from it. I was so disappointed with Twilight and how that sh-thole of a movie destroyed everything my mind conjured up about Edward and Bella's love. So going in to this movie, I kept telling myself, "It will suck, it won't be as good as you would like.." etc.
So with an unexpecting sort of attitude, I got most of what I came for.

Edward. Aside from the fact that he looked to owlish with his super yellow glowy eyes and way too pale skin, he was goddamn delicious. I love Edward. So goddamn much it hurts. lol
I mean, when Bella was waiting for him at school right in the beginning and he comes out of his car walking like he runs shit made every inch of me tingle. How I wanted to be Bella and for him to just walk up to me and kiss me. lol Except that didn't happen. They said some birthday babble and not enough tongue use the right way was going on.

I also knew, because of the book, that Edward wouldn't be that much of a presence in the movie, and instead would get Jacob. Now, I hate Jacob with all my heart. Hate him in the book. Not so much of a fan of the actor playing him either. But f-ckme when Taylor Lautner stripped off that shirt to stop Bella's head from bleeding... HOLY SH-T. I mean where the hell did THOSE come from? I was literally counting... one two three... yep eight and then some. So cut to the core. So good. Then I remembered he's like 17. Oh shame on me. Oh well.

It surprises me to say that Jacob in the movie didn't actually bother me as much though as in the book. Might be his acting, might be the fact that I was constantly distracted by his totally ripped bod but he was "aiiight". He wasn't as annoying as in the book. But still, he shouldn't stick his sh-t where it don't belong and it don't belong with Bella! I did feel a little-- very little--- sorry for him when she rejected him (finally) towards the end. Especially when he's side by side with Edward. I mean nice tan vs pasty skin, but ehh what can you do...

That brings me to my most anticipated scene. Italy. The Volturi. Didn't even know it was pronounced Vol-tur-eee. I've been saying it Vol-tur-eye. I like my way better. More fahncee. Anyway, expected a bit more from these scenes, but it was pretty good. They included the tourists coming in. Great. They included sexy Heidi. Super. They included kids with the tourists. NOT GOOD. Edward was NOT covering Bella's ears which was (weirdly) my most favourite part of Italy/Volturi. SO NOT GOOD. But was good enough. Jane creep the shit out of here now! Aro- clap clap fascinating! "BELLA-R'S ALIVE!" lol loved it.
But my number one complaint about the Italy scene. THE REUNION. WHAT THE F-CKITY-F-CK-F-CK?!?!?! She ran. Bella was running her goddamn chucks off and bounced off Edwards SO SO body. YOU CANNOT, CANNOT, simply CANNOT have Edward's body looking the way it did after flashing us with Jacob's. EDWARD SHOULD NOT HAVE CHEST HAIR. Said that from the first movie-- he was too hairy. EDWARD SHOULD NOT HAVE A WEAKER LOOKING BODY THAN JACOB. No. No. NO! It was good. Just not good enough once you've seen Jacob's. That was a HUGE disappointment.
Next, they ommitted the line where Edward thinks he;s in heaven, yaddi ya but they didn't even kiss. They talked about some shit and she apologized about some other and I was falling off my seat waiting for some serious action. It came eventually but your tingles wear out by then.
At least there were more kissing scenes in this movie compared to Twilight. But never, never enough. Especially when it comes to those two. I need them to be together in real life because it will make me happy. lol So pathetic but so necessary.

I cannot wait for Eclipse. I hope they romps around much more then. They better include the part when Bella's sleeping, rolls over, finds Edward and oops, he's on top of her and they're going at it like they should only to be stopped by her heavy panting and his "control". Boo that. But they better include it. Rompsy romps.
Speaking of heavy panting. That "goodbye" kiss before the breakup. What was up with those noises? I wasn't sure if I liked it or hated it. Guess I gotta see it again!

Volturi cast was great. Wolves were great. Paul? Hello! Come to me.
Rosalie still bothers me. So does Alice's nose and Jasper's hair. Emmett I like.
I hope Breaking Dawn comes into movie life as well. That would be the most difficult to do but would love to see it. Renesmee. How will you look? Bella-- how will YOU look?

Im sure I have a lot more to say but it's late, I'm tired and I gotta go dream some more about Edward and the movie.
Im going to watch it again.
It was worth the wait. Especially to have a quiet theatre of 10 or less people. No screaming girls. No interrupters. Perfect. Free popcorn and a drink. Superb.

Not going to bother to edit this one.
Maybe tomorrow.

Edward, I love you.

ZERO.

Countdown is done.
It's all over from here.
Edward.
Here.
I.
Come.

Inhale, Exhale.

I can't breathe.
And it's not because I've been deathly sick for the past week and a half.
It's not because we almost had our own H1N1 outbreak in our own home.
It's not because poor Blake is as sick as me and is slowly breaking my heart.

Do you see the countdown?
Do you know what day it is?
It's time.
The lunacy doesn't begin. It heightens.
Never mind the little girls and teenagers screaming the town with vampire blood and werewolf scratches.
Mind the grown women who will be horny as ever awaiting their lover Edward and preparing to have crazy eyesex with him.
Mind these same women who are dying to see the wolf pack and their abs.
These women. Are. Crazy.
And It's me. I am These women.
And I have no shame and give no damn.
Please please let this one be good. Just please let them get the Italy scenes right.
Just please let my visualization of Edward saving Bella from the Volturi and covering her ears from the screaming tourists as they pass Heidi be nothing compared to what they show. Please let them show it right or not at all.

Aren't these two so damn hot together? I wish they were together in real life. Fulfill my Edward-Bella fantasy please.

Empire State of Mind

It's been a long, long time and I have so much to say.
More big things.
More fun things.
More surprises.
More hot crushes.
More planning.
But until then, it is an ESS-OH-ELLE-OH-EN Mafia MASSIVE trip to New Jersey and New York.
I've never been so excited for a family trip since... ever.
No time. Gotta Pack.
PS. Are you seeing this countdown? Are you getting tingly and goosebumpy? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Heart is beating too fast.

Til then... sing it belle....

"These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York,
New York, New Yooooork"

(Side note: Let's go Phillies! Chase me! Chase me! Second Base me!)

The Sanctity of Marriage: 2009

David Letterman announced that he had numerous affairs with various female staff. It was live. It was public. It was unexpected. So much so that the audience wasn't sure if he was joking or not.
He cheated on his wife.
He only outed himself because of an extortionist threatening to out him first.
I don't watch Letterman because I'm totally asleep by then, but heard about it this morning.
What disgusts me is how the media is playing it. Questions targeted the public viewers include, "What did you think of him doing it live? Was it a PR stunt? Was it successful"?
Uhh, how about "Isn't he such an old dirtbag that should be kicked in the balls? Shouldn't his wife knee his glasses in his face?"
No. Instead, the said television outlet goes as far as saying shit like "yeah, he works `late night'"; "he's older", "it could have been because of his HEART problems" etc.

SAY WHAT?!?

So it's okay for him to have f-cked around to help him excite his heart and thus live longer?
F-CK THAT. I even heard them go even further to say how it was BRAVE of him to admit this sh-t on "live" television and that you could even feel SORRY for him. I think I just threw up in my mouth.
I mean, of course. How awful it must have been for him to gather up all the courage to tell the world he's a f-cking pervy f-ck up who cheated on his wife and is only admitting to it now because the extortionist had proof. Poor old man indeed.
And the f-cking news. To even say how this isn't really a surprise because office affairs are common and go call in the poll to see if even you may have had your own work fling.
WHAT THE F-CK? Common? Really?
Does that mean that it is then acceptable? That it's okay for bosses to bang their secretaries, skank women to hide under Presidents' desks and horny adulterers to sneak around during lunch? And then go home and kiss your spouse and kids and eat dinner together?
I don't care what publicity stunt he tried to pull and for the media to feed the rest of the world the acceptance of this whole sh-t. Everyone seems more concerned about how the audience reacted, or how difficult it must have been for him to admit it, or who's idea it was to reveal it, blah blah blah.
After all, it is common.
Uh hello. What about his wife? His son? Or how could someone who's married and supposedly committed do such a thing? But, who cares about them because it's common?
I ain't no old-fashion traditional Catholic that's for sure. I understand that people do cheat, do f-ck up and mess up their marriage (not in MY house though. Y'all know Michael wouldn't even dare). But for people to ignore the whole betrayal of the fact, that the whole notion of marriage is as now as sacred as Kim Kardashian turning into a blonde, is so, so sad.
If I were the old perv's wife I would cut his balls off with dull tweezers and feed it to him while his extra-marital whores watched. Go figure why marriages are going to sh-t, why divorces are common, why the next generation doesn't give a damn about monogamy or STDs for that matter.

And if his wife holds his hand and forgives him, then she's as dumb and pathetic as Kim Kardashian and her blonde hair.

The Unexpected Favourite

I have seen at least three episodes of each of my Fall TV favourites and decided to briefly (ha) comment on them. Leesh has posted her review but I don't want to read it until I've done mine in order for comparison. The shows I listed on the previous post only included CW's shows but I also noted towards the end that I have yet to include shows outside of the CW such as the classic HBO, MTV and Glee.

Up until last week, my number one, most looked forward to show to watch was 90210. Hot girls. Still, not so much for the guys. I love simply looking at Silver and Adriana because they are so f-cking beautiful. Anorexic? Perhaps, but their faces are gorg. I love the whole hierarchy storyline. I know socially it's wrong, blah, blah, blah but who are we kidding? I mean the first episode when they had Naomi, Silver and Aid walking down the hallway? I mean please, would I have hated to be a nobody in that school and begged to hold their books. And Annie. She sucks. She always did. But I can't help but feel sorry for her a teeny bit though I did hope she would go down. This storyline reminds me of a student I had which is why I feel sorry for her, but since it's TV, bring `er downnn! But Naomi too, hope she and Annie brawl it out. And Teddy? Is he like the Andrea Zuckerman of this remake? Meaning 30 something playing a teen? Eew. Bring on the zaceffron's man!

Here's that scene I mentioned. I mean, please!!!

OTH and GG. Both have good looking casts no doubt. Good storylines too. OTH was my ultimate favourite. But I think since Season 4 (they are now on season 7) things have gone to sh-t for me. Season 5 was better, but once they completely eliminated "Brucas" I wasn't that into it anymore. But "Brulian" is totally making up for it. Heard they were together (again) in real life. Those are always the best (except for Serena and Dan in real life-- and on the show actually). It would be even better or much juicier if Nathan did play hooker for a night. But they'll never take the show there. Plus it's Nathan, it'll make me cry if that ever happened.
Chuck and Blair on GG are actually growing on me. He's too sleezy for me to like though. I liked Nate and Blair in the very first episode. Why can't it be like that? GG always has great storylines and even better show closures. But it always sucks when they "reveal" what happened on the following episode. They know how to keep you hooked, I guess. Not the best though.

True Blood's not coming back til June. I cry.
Never was a fan of The Hills but loved Laguna Beach. Reason? Kristin f-cking Cavallari. She's a f-cking hot piece of a b-tch and I LOVE HER. Loved her since Laguna. The minute I found out she was replacing Lauren, I needed to check it out. Saw the season premier, clearly not reality TV and pure (pathetic) acting but Kristin is the sh-t because she causes so much of it. Lauren was always boring, constantly moping around about losing her best friend or her best friend betraying her (Heidi, Jen, Audrina, Lo then back again) or not being able to lock a man down. I mean, how many "best friends" do you have? Do you wear half-heart necklaces with the word "best" on one and "friend" on the other? Get a life. And the girl needs to realize why her relationships never work. True enough that the guy's probably an ass, but honestly it's simply cause she's a boring pathetic loser. Stephen knew it, Brody realized it, and even her crackhead boyfriend Jason saw it too. This is why Kristin replacing her will make the show funny. Just to see what happens. She won't be the one keeping the series going that's for sure... but she is the one who will attract attention. It did mine. We'll see. Tuesday nights are busy enough as it is though.
Melrose.... not sure yet. Not a fan of the faces, except for Jonah. And Auggie. Oh and maybe David. Okay, so maybe a fan of the male faces but the rest, no. Violet's f-cking psycho man. Her face both scares the sh-t out of me while making me laugh because it's either bad acting or a really good psychotic reflection. Nothing worthy to remember. Jonah should dump Riley's ass is all.

So that brings me to my Fall favourite. I said in the beginning that up until last week it was 90210. That's a close second. But the show I can't wait to watch and can't get out of my mind is Glee.
So unexpected. A show on FOX for one, and two, it's not the typical highschool CW drama I crave. It's much better. It's witty with dry humour similar to The Office. They sing. They sing songs I love. They based one entire episode on Beyonce's Single Ladies. It was faaaantastic. On top of the songs, they have Sue's classic ass one-liners. So funny I'm telling you. And I think I'm developing a little crush on Mr. Schuester. He has some good angles and that sideways smirk I love (that Michael thinks is gay) on all my celebrity crushes. Finn too. Rachel's nose bothers the sh-t out of me but it will do because she can sing. I love, love, LOVE this show. I'm trying to get everyone to watch it. I forced Steph and Jay to watch. Michael takes a bit more convincing. I mean singing boys is not his cup of tea. I'll have to pull the Quinn card then.

It's Thursday. It's Vampire Diaries night. Not what I hoped it would be. It's actually a lot scarier than I thought. The show's "demonic" special effects far outdo Twilight's budget ones. Stefan and Damon turning into vampires are f-cking skin jumpers. And I'm not a fan of either when they're human. Don't think this one was casted right. But I still watch to see the inevitable. (See my take on Edward on the previous post to get what I'm talking about.)

Wednesdays. Watch Glee. I promise you will enjoy. And end up singing whatever song they featured until the following week.

Edward vs. Jamie

Dedicated to Joan. I don't know when she'll ever read this, but it's simply because she's the one who'll completely understand. _____________________________________________________

If you know me, you know what this is going to be about. Don't bother reading further if you're just going to roll your eyes and think I'm crazy. I'm not. I know this because I'm not the only one.
My top two favourite fictional men of my life. Actually, it does sound a bit crazy once it's typed out. Ah well, there it is. And I'm going to do what I thought I'd never do-- compare and choose my number one. (PS. I have my second addition to my 2009 To-Do List! More on that another time).

I have thought about who I would choose as my ultimate fictional fling, but never came to a conclusion. Let's see if by laying it out I can finally close the chapter on this book. (I'm so clever aren't I?)

Edward Cullen- Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Series (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun)

Really? Do I need to explain who he is? Or what he's done to my life? And every other female- little girls to grown women--breathing? For the fun of it, let's...
I was introduced to Twilight by one of my students. It didn't appeal to me at all then. The following year, the major motion picture was to be released so I decided to read it to see what the hype was about before I watched it. Borrowed my first copy from a student in my class. I was hooked and addicted like a perv on porn. Borrowed New Moon from another student. By this time, not only was I already in love with Edward, but I needed to have the books for my self.
Now, the writing is no way close to being ingenious. Far from. It had many flaws, was in no way a prize winner. I mean, dazzle? And just how many times do I have to read phrases with "pursed his lips" and "granite" and "marble" and "ochre"? Or "sing song voice" or "graceful like a ballerina"? These were a few words and expressions used and abused over and over again.
So true, tt wasn't brilliant writing. But it was fun. It was addictive in the sense you needed to know when Edward and Bella were finally going to f-ck the life (or death) out of each other. You needed to know when Edward would f-ck Jacob up like any normal teenager would and then behead and devour him as his true demonic self. Well, at least that's why I was hooked. That and a whole lotta Edward.
Thus the need to own the novels was the beginning of my endless search for the Twilight Saga boxed set. Michael told me to wait- that maybe "someone" will get it for my birthday. But that was a month away and I couldn't wait. So we drove from one Chapter's to another, one Costco to another, and finally got myself my own early birthday present at a third Chapter location.
Ahh, let's cut to the chase. Edward. I would much rather have had him as my early birthday present, but ehh, I prefered to be mortal. And for Blake, who was at the time still in my belly, to be born vampire-free. So where do I begin? Why are so many in love with this immortal fictional boy? I'll list:

1) He's hot. He's gorgeous. He's an "Adonis carved out of marble stone". The way Meyer described him (albeit over and over again) makes you want to get with him, any way, any how. He might bite you? Pssh, PLEASE do.
2) He's a protector and defender of his woman. Who doesn't want a hot man to be there to save your ass when your in the face of danger? Those so-called independent feminist lesbians, that's who. I mean, he was totally p-ssywhipped in the sense he never beat the sh-t out of Jacob in any book, but the way he was there when she pricked her finger (a la Sleeping Beauty) or when his shiny Volvo spun in front of those College dirt bags and told Bella to get in the car... yowza. Who wouldn't want to scream bite the sh-t outta me?
3) He thinks Bella's God's greatest gift to him, even though it's the other way around. Sort of. I don't think God would grant a vampire as a gift to any young girl, but you know what I mean. She's "normal". He loves her for that. He compliments her. He opens doors for her. He cooks for her even though he doesn't eat. He doesn't eat her. It's the "gentleman" thing that every being with a Y-chromosome should automatically be embedded in their biological system with. He watches her sleep. Creepy? Not to me, I think it's sweet. And yes, I admit I freak the f-ck out when I open my eyes and see Michael staring at me, but that's different. He actually is sleeping-- with his eyes open. Shiver. I don't know what could be more frightening... lol.

Moving on...
Jamie Fraser- Diana Gabaldon's Outlander Series (Outlander, Dragonfly in Amber, Voyager, Drums of Autmn, Fiery Cross, A Breath of Snow and Ashes, An Echo in the Bone)

Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Sigh. He is one hot piece of ass I'm telling you. A hairy one, maybe but a muscular one you just want to squeeze over and over again? Hell yeah. Jamie is a man. A real man. (Fictionally speaking of course). He's an 18th century Highlander. He has a Scottish accent. A damn fine one at least the way I hear it. He's a warrior. Okay, so now do I need to further explain? A Scottish warrior? Me, the one who's son's middle name symbolizes a Scots warrior? Yeah, didn't think so... but of course I will go further!
I'm currently reading Gabaldon's seventh installment of one of the best, most engaging series ever. And it is well written. Where Meyer can't write for sh-t on bricks, Gabaldon's a master bricklayer. Her writing is so detailed, so entertaining, so suspenseful, so engaging, that reading her 1200 + page novels takes no time. I fell in love with Outlander and Jamie immediately. Pure history, pure love and death, pure sex- hot Jamie sex and its fantastic. Don't get me wrong, these novels aren't the "romance- Fabio" kind of novels, there's real intelligence and historical accuracy behind it. The political aspect of the novels get a bit tiring sometimes, but the constant asskicking and killing Jamie does and his sweat dripping heroic saves for Clare just sweeps you off your feet. You will love Jamie Fraser and want to be his "sassenach". Oh trust me. So why Jamie?

1) He's a f-cking man's man. What do I mean? Well he's human for one. He ages. He bleeds. He almost dies- many times. He will eventually die and I will cry like a baby. His heart beats. He loves his woman to the core. I mean, English, sexy, fat, raped, bald, timetraveler and everything. (NOTHING like TimeTraveler's Wife so don't go there). He swears. He sexes. He scratches himself. He drinks whisky. He fights other men. He butchers anyone who threatens his wife or family unlike p-ssywhipped Edward. Did I mention he's a warrior? Like picture Braveheart, only a billion times sexier. And Jamie always ends up kicking major English ass. Pip pip cheerio- BAM. There goes your head and balls in a cup of tea. Fan-f-ckng-tastic.
2) He has an accent. He's Scottish. He's a highlander. Ruddy, messy, grunting. I don't know what half the words Gabaldon writes him as saying, but I bet they sound sexy all the same. Never in my life would I find a man wearing a kilt as something attractive. But hey, this is the same lifetime I also find vampires appealing. So...?
3) He is fine like the best scots whisky. The way Gabaldon describes him towers Meyer's Edward. I can't believe I just wrote that but I did. Jamie has red hair, nice and tall, big and muscular, numerous battle scars, slanted cat eyes and one mighty sexy beast. Gabaldon has once said that the closest real life person that could play Jamie in a movie would be Gabriel Aubry. There is a movie in the works. So excited for it. I just hope it doesn't pull a "Twilight" aka butcher the f-ckng book. Too bad Aubry's a model and not an actor. Still, he's pure sex.

I honestly could go on and on and on about this. You know I can. But to finally cut this week-long post (it takes me a while to write and geet'er done) where Edward is perfect for unlimited power and protection, beautiful to look at and serenade you all night long, I don't think it's enough to outdo Jamie.
SAY WHAT?!?! Yeah I know.
While Jamie's power may be limited, he fights like a barbaric man which is f-cking hot, is equally if not more sexy and Jamie is ultimately the one you want not serenading you all night long, but sexing you all night long. You think I'm crazy? Dude, you've seen those Twi-hards. There's one for Jamie too, only the crazed teens haven't found him yet. Wait for the movie-- if it's made and casted right- you'll jump on the Jamie bandwagon too.
There you have it. Edward the sexy and chivalrous. Jamie the sexy, the chivalrous and the f-cking man you want to f-ck.

I'm going to read.

Here it is: "actor" Jamie vs. "actor" Edward.
Jamie does it huh?

Now that's what you call MOM (Part II)

Ever since Belle started JK, my "job" at home has increased tenfold. Routine and schedules help a lot. Who would've thought? Me, a life that's surrounded by chaos and change, implemented a routine for the little bee's. And it works. As long as I keep pushing it and practicing it.
This is the hard part.
Michael has recently shifted gears at work (for the better) as part of let's just say "the future of the company". All good.
He's been coming home later and later ever since he started. I began to create voodoo dolls of his superiors with ripped up Loblaw's/Real Canadian Super Store plastic bags.

I've been having hellish, hectic days and nights since this new change. (See previous post).
I make breakfast for two, snacks for two, lunch for two, dinner for two. Sounds perfect, except there isn't two- there's three. Oops, I forgot to feed me. But so long as they're fed and full, so am I, to be honest.

Getting all of us ready to go out even for a simple walk takes us close to an hour or more. Won't get into details. Bringing them along to longer trips/outings such as the mall or a grocery store is a full day's field trip. Refuse to get into more details.
On top of that, regardless of where I go, or how much our dark hair matches, I face the double glance from onlookers as they scout the "young filipino nanny". I know I shouldn't let what people "think" or assume bother me, but it does. (Just wait until I get my white nanny then we'll see who's boss!)

When we get home, I clean. I cook if I have a free hand (ie. Blake's taking a nap), but most of the time, I take out meat from the freezer or place a pot on the stove, and that's about how far I get before someone needs me. I replace toys back on their shelves, play gyms back in their containers and pick up whatever crumbs, garbage, etc. to toss. I sit down for literally 4 seconds and I'm up again for something.
I know this isn't any different or any harder than any other mother especially of two or more. I guess that's why God built mom's this way- to endure anything and everything, to protect, to guide and nurture, to run the world. Fine by me, but I'm effin tired man. I mean, sh-t, even God got to rest on the seventh day! My seventh day passed long, long ago. But I'm not complaining, I'm just saying...

Michael left me surprised after one evening of discussion. Those of you who know Michael, know that he hardly says a word, let alone expresses sincere feelings. Long story short, he misses us just as much as we miss him. It bothers him that he's not here when he should be. His work is trying to accommodate everyone, apparently realizing that these employees of theirs have lives outside of work. I read a mass email his seniors sent regarding this dumb project and their expectation of commitment to the company. I wrote my own email about how they are all ungrateful, selfish whores taking father's (and mother's) away from their families without saying much of a "How are you doing in this new position?", or a "How are you?" Period.
I deleted it but have the whole speech memorized just in case Michael wants to voluntarily leave. Like I told him, can you imagine getting fired because of your wife's big mouth? Wouldn't that be something...

Whatever God built this particular "mom" with (meaning me), seems to be working then I guess. I got the routine going, kids smiling and I got my hubby's back. I support. Go team go.

And because I'm so great, I got to sleep in Saturday morning. Hoo-ah!

Now that's what you call MOM.

Have you ever tried baking from scratch? Hard as heck, huh?
Have you ever tried baking from scratch with a 4-year-old baker-enthusiast and a 6-month-old thrill-seeker? Pretty crazy ass hectic sh-t up in my kitchen.
Have you ever tried baking from scratch with a 4-year-old baker-enthusiast and a 6-month-old thrill-seeker BY HAND? Meaning with no KitchenAid mixer, hand held or machine?
Well it's a bloody insane, migraine-driven, stress building, sweat coming out of undiscovered body parts kind of experience. The best kind of experience only I could have with my two baking beasts.
It was more than challenging, but it was not impossible.

Belle has been asking me to bake cupcakes from the Princess Cookbook I got her for a while now. I've been telling her to wait since I didn't have free time or a free hand, and she patiently did. Then I realized I'm never going to have free time or a free hand so I said "To heck with it" (not out loud) and began clearing the tables and setting up the ingredients. So, needless to say it was quite the event. Blake would not let me put him down without a fuss so I had to carry the huge entertainment jumperoo thingamajiggy with one hand and the Big Boy himself in the other into the kitchen to watch us bake. (I gotta check my walls for scratches and possible paint peelings. Oopsie.) We begin.

Preheat oven. Start dumping flour and butter and mix like a mother f-cker. Crying. Mixing like a mother f-cker with baby in arms. Not happening. Belle mixing. Her hair falling in the batter. Headband and tying hair while carrying Big Boy. High chair with lots of toys and things to throw and bang along with a handful of MumMum's keep Blake busy for a while. 4 eggs. Belle's job. Need I say more? Mix. Hand. Remove fallen egg shells. Mix. Hand. Dropped MumMum. Tears.
Add vanilla and milk. Belle get the milk. Sous chef spills milk all over floor. Wipe. More tears. More MumMum. Keep mixing Belle. Keep it in the bowl. Oops. Wipe again. Squeak the toy. Just put that batter sh-t in the cupcake baking thing. Scoop, dump. Scoop, dump. Sous chef runs to hot oven. No. No. NO. Cupcakes are safely in the oven by Mom without Sous chef burns. Wash. Check Blake. Dry. Clear space and tidy and play with Blake for 12-15 minutes before starting buttercream icing while Sous chef licks spoon dry. Smells good. Smell burning. Only 5 minutes passed. What the hell? 12 Minutes. Cupcakes are out. Delicious. Bottoms are burned. That lying mother f-cking recipe. Start icing. Mix. Mix. Still mixing like a mother-fucker. 10 minutes. When is this going to turn into "cream"? More toys. Eat this MumMum. Mix. Mix. Mixing buttercream icing from scratch by hand is as tiring as a prostitute trying to stiffen an old man's pole. Mix. Mix. MIX GOD DAMMIT. DONE. Piping. Piping bag bursts. Buttercream all over. Sous chef excitedly dips hand on spilled icing. Sugar High. Big Boy wants in on the fun. Slapped on icing with Belle's hand while carrying Big Boy in the other. Breathe. Are we done? Yes. Yes we're done.
We f-cking did it. You hear me? WE DID IT!!!!

There you have it. One long paragraph equaled almost two hours of hectic bliss. I ate three cupcakes in a row as my reward. Belle ate the tops as hers. Blake had MumMum in his ears. Kitchen was a disastrous mess.
But that's what you call quality time. The "master bakers". While dramatic, Belle had fun. She laughed and kept telling me how we made such a good team. As I mixed my life away, I sang to Blake and he smiled and smiled. It was fun. Well worth every second. Well worth every popped blood vessel.
And this is why I'm here. For them. I am their mother. And mother will I be.
And mother will I be in an ass-kickingly way. Or a batter mixing one.
I'm tired.

Praise the Lord for PVR!

Q: What's so fantabulous about Fall in addition to sleek fashions, breezy weather and new activities?
A: The CW Fall-TV Line-Up!

It's SO good to be on mat leave right now because there are all these new (and old) teeny-bopper shows I live for and die to watch.
Now, the CW produces nothing close to stellar award-winning actors and actresses-- but what they do produce is far better-- hot pieces of ass. Male and female alike. Underage? Who cares. Isn't that the whole zaceffronism behind enjoying these shows? Well, it is for me!
Oldies and newbies-- it's drama, drama, drama GALORE! Season premiers are coming fast outta my ass and I can't catch them soon enough.

And this is why all I gotta say is thank God for PVR! I obviously don't have time to watch these shows once they're scheduled to come on for a variety of reasons (blake,diaper, belle, play, food, clean, dry, wash, bathe, etc) but when I do find some downtime (when the whole house is asleep or a Sunday afternoon while kids are with the grandparents) I like to lie back, relax my muscles and enjoy the new and old favourite CW hotties and stories.

One Tree Hill's back sans Lucas and Peyton. Who cares right? Only will miss the fact that there will be no Brucas reunion. Ever. Real life or not. Nathan (my all time love of all time) plus Julian plus Clay equals Lucas who? Quinn? And always, always, the music. Still a definite must-see for Monday nights.

Gossip Girl was weak last night. They need to up Nate's storyline and stop making him so faggish. Same with Chuck and his pursing of lips. Blair, hot. Serena, not. GG getting blahblah.

90210- awaiting on my PVR. Would you believe Michael said I missed the season premier already? That's messed up sh-t. Gotta sidereel.com it then. No man hotties as far as last season goes, maybe just Liam, but hopefully they add a new hot piece of a boy. But Adriana? Haven't seen her this season yet, but I love her--- teen-ex-junkie-mother-oopsy-gavebabyforadoption--- or not. Can't wait for the episode that leaves me chanting, "Donna Martin grad-u-ate!"

Melrose Place- haven't seen it either. Not sure if I'm really down for this or not though. I mean, never was a fan of the original one anyway. And Ashley Simpson-Wentz? Geh. I am going to seriously have to see it and love it that much to be a follower of this one. Will probably a good filler.

Beautiful Life- A Mischa Barton comeback?? THIS I've got to see simply because of that fact. Kind of reminiscent of Models Inc. Anyone remember that from way back when? Loved it, wonder why they cancelled it...

Vampire Diaries- uhhh, really do I need to explain? Vampires? Yes! Edward Cullen? NO! Neither main vampire nor his brother come even close to the fictional or "RPatz" version of Edward. Entirely unimaginable to even touch upon my personal version of Edward. But still, watched the season premier, has a cute chick, seems like a cool story line so far. Wonder when the forbidden love triangle will begin? It ain't noTrue Blood that's for sure, but still a keeper to watch.

So needless to say my PVR is busy. This, mind you is only CW's Fall line up. I haven't included HBO, or my "grown-up" shows yet. And Glee. And Lost and 24 are still far away.
I love living in imaginary TV world. It gives me a break from my imaginary literary world . (More on my books of the summer later).
How do I ensure all this gets taped anyhow? The Answer = Michael, my dears! He is outed. He loves this sh-t as much as I do. He can't deny. He was up watching OTH and GG last night with me while he PVR'd Melrose. So I don't need to do anything. I just gotta sit, search my list and watch.
That's the easy part.
The hard part is getting to sit down to search to watch. Nevertheless, can't wait!!!
Am I a teen, a mom, teenybopper-mom or what? At least I'll never be one of those moms asking "Edward" or some other hottie little boy to hold my baby. I Promise.
Downloading soundtracks next! Along with PVR, thank God for illegal downloading! Hallelujah!

It's September!

New month, new season, new weather? More like the weather we should've had this summer. Nevertheless, 20-plus-degree type weather is always welcome.

It's back to school.
The little-uns are flocking excitedly to their classrooms to show off their new pencils, the middle-uns drag their feet but have pure excitement as their pre-pubescent years draw closer to an end, and the big-uns confidently strut what they think is the hottest sh-t off and gossip about who shat in their pants from the best end of the summer party.
Oh school days, school days, dear old golden rule days.

Back to school also means the house-ho's are out. The i-was-smart-enough-to-marry-a-wealthy-man-so-i-can-stay-home women have herded to Starbucks in groups of no less than three with tank tops, short shorts, orange tans, big blings and big "tings" poking out. (God, I love Aurora). As they "AH HAH HAHA HAHA" while fanning themselves with their own hands, I only feel sorry for their kids. I quickly figure out why I end up with so many dumb-ass, conceited, selfish teenagers. Then I feel sorry for them no more.

It's the start of school for my very own little-un. Her JK transition begins this week and full scale next. She is ready with a new backpack and a matching lunchbag, new pencil case with co-ordinating pencils, erasers, rulers and crayola central. I keep telling her not everything has to match. In this "school supply" case, it did. And look how cute she is with everything hot pink and leopardy. With everything labelled from shoes to sharpeners, my little girl is off and ready for school.
I will photograph.
I will videotape (or assign someone to).
I will document.
I will wave and smile.
I will breakdown and cry.
There she goes with her purple leather jacket and new chucks. Holla.
Good luck baby girl. Here's to the beginning of your next 18 years of scholalry love.

It's September.
One month until Halloween.
Two months until our first-four-family trip.
Three months until Christmas.
Five months until I begin my own back-to-school routine. I Curse. Gag me.

Leaves, turn orange and red and auburn and nice and cripsy. Wind, pick it up just a wee bit so that my little b's can wear their awaiting Fall gear.
Where the blood has time gone? Sigh.

It's September. Have a happy one.

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time a beautiful princess met a handsome young prince.
They danced. They laughed. They kissed.
It was true love.
And they lived happily ever after.

I live for fairy tale endings. I love them. I grew up reading about it and dreaming about it. I push it on my daughter that she too, will find a handsome young prince who will sweep her off her feet and together live happily ever after.

But does it happen? Not in this world, right? Then why do I keep trying to convince myself that it's real? Why not just tell Belle that her stories, her fairy tales are just that-- tales?
Well, simply because it is true. It does happen, even in a super twisted, crazy sort of way.

My way. Mine and Michael's way.

I am the princess; he, the prince. Our "once upon a time" was in no way a standard, traditional one. But we did meet, we did dance, we did laugh and we did kiss.
What fairy tales forget to mention are the details- both gory and glory- that occur after the dream wedding to the happily ever after.

The forgotten "in between" is my "once upon a time" right now. I have been married to Michael for four years.
This is our anniversary. Our life together is by no means a fairy tale, but it's our own story. (Holy shit, that just sounded like Jon&Kate Plus 8, didn't it? Oh God.)

What's our story? Probably close to yours...

I bitch. I cry. I yell. I threaten. I stomp. I preach. I give silent treatment. I choose sides. I scowl. I curse.
But also,
I smile. I laugh. I sleep. I eat. I shop. I talk. I listen. I joke. I defend. I jump. I dance. I touch. I hug. I kiss. I love.

Though the cynical side of me may be the more prominent side of me at most times, I do value my relationship with Michael and I do honour our vows said four years ago. I love my family. I love every bit of excitement, laughter, drama, tears and milestones we go through.
They say relationships burn down quickly after marriage and double that after children. Michael and I had all at once. It was hard. It is hard. But we still go.

I don't keep going just for the sake of our kids. I keep going for the sake of my marriage as well. Michael is important to me- very important. He is my partner, my confidant, my best friend, my prince. We may not have been how we were four years ago, but we are learning. Marriage is not a "thing" or a be-all and end-all status. It is a process. It is work. It needs willingness. And we are willing and that's what matters.

I write this because people see and hear the negative side of things, probably because I tell them so. It is the truth, but the greater truth, which I rarely say or admit to, is that I love my husband to the core. Why I hardly say it out loud and even to myself and especially to him more often--- I don't know exactly.

My heart is writing itself out on here because I want everyone to know two things:
1) I am celebrating my Fourth anniversary (one more until my 5th which is when Michael promised me new bling- or maybe I made him promise but who cares, I get one because 5 = a whole hand.)
and
2) There is a happily ever after and it happens more often than I realize. It happens through what new animals Belle discovers or how many times Blake can roll over. It happens when Michael hand makes me a copy of Midnight Sun or let's me sleep in.

So Michael, I know you seldom read this and will probably be taken aback when you do, but know this-- we are working hard in so many ways and through so many different facets to go through this thing called life. I appreciate you and seek your company just as much as I do our children. You are a good father and I encourage you to continue being someone both of them adore. You are a good husband and I encourage you to continue being the man I always believed I saw in you since day one. And last but not least, I love you. I love you today. I'll love you tomorrow. I'll love you again. And we'll live happily ever after.
Happy Anniversary. Now man up, say you feel the same! (Haha- needed to include the real me somewhere in this sticky sap).

Now, next time you see us, ask us to kiss. We'll do it. (Oh Lordie, I can just imagine what both my brothers' reactions to this is). Belle will jump and clap, I know it.
Also, thanks to my sister Steph who keeps encouraging us- her and Jay's special "pear"- to love and laugh more.

It is a celebration today. I will kiss and hug Michael and ask him to take me to dinner.
And tonight, I will take Belle and read Cinderella.

The End.